My Black is Beautiful

Name: Tamika 

Being Black was always something my family made sure I was proud of. From home lessons during Black History month, to morning mantras in front of a mirror, I understand that my Blackness was a gift. I never questioned who I was until I moved out of Philly and lived on Long Island during high school. There, I recall hearing the word minority for the first time and I had no clue why folks would ascribe to that word. My mom said we were to be proud of who we are. Growing up in the projects with my mom barely making enough money, we were still prideful. Living on Long Island made me question my identity for the first time in my life; I was too friendly with the white kids, and sometimes not enough for the black kids. I didn’t understand it and I was confused. Since it was harder to have my black friends question me, I would hang out with them more sparingly. To me, I wasn’t conforming to the norms, I was just a Philly girl not wanting to be told who I should and shouldn’t be around. Aside from that, I was a 10th grader taking 9th grade math! Now mind you, my grades were ok in Philly, however I ended up being so far behind that it showed. All of the teachers worked overtime to make sure I passed the regents (NY state test) each year. This is when I learned of educational inequalities and the gaps that force folks who are poorer into long-term unjust situations. For a period of time, I became a product of them. It was a nightmare, one semester I was taking multiple gym classes because I needed those credits, the next it was science. I left Philly never knowing the ramifications of their inadequate public school system. These students on LI were way ahead of me, which was shown through the achievement gap. Countless times I felt like I wasn’t good enough. How could I be? By 11th grade I was still playing catch up and my mind was all over the place. And just when I thought I was getting the hang of things, I ended up moving back to Philly during the last semester of my 12th grade year! Guess who was then ahead of her class in terms of credits (not grades) credits! I took more hours at my job, and I was only in school for a few hours a day. I spent a month working on my senior project that other students had worked on all year. My only hangup was having to make up volunteer hours needed for my senior project. Alas, it was June and I had decided last minute to attend the community college in my area. That lead to me living out the achievement gaps put in place for students from historically marginalized communities and it is my hope that I am able to shed light on this. As of now, I’ve earned my B.A and M.Ed, and I am the proud founder of Embracing You, LLC. I truly believe in the power of my melanin, and yours too. You are deserving, capable, and you are enough!